Uk at a standstill!

Winter is coming......

In the usual UK fashion, the too few days of sunshine and inevitable national hosepipe bans, heralded Summer to come and go all too quickly. Middle aged, hairy, overweight men everywhere went topless, sales of last years dusty leftover ice creams went through the roof and everyone immediately sun bathed until sweaty, bright red and thoroughly burnt.

People immediately complained that it was too hot or how unbearable it all was, also how unfair to be working on that day and then immediately make comparisons to last years one day heat wave.

We all rushed to any grassy area, stripped off, rolled up, unbuttoned and uncomfortably endured the briefest moments of sunshine, worshipping the yellow elusive God in the sky.

White socks and sandals saw the light of day, too much skin unveiled and poor choices of outfits ruled the streets. Pale and white flesh prevalent everywhere "we've not seen that white meat since Christmas" I repeatedly say out loud.

Herds amassed, headed to the seaside and enjoy hours of traffic jams on their pilgrimage, surviving at least one severe ice cream headache forcing down a '99' before it melts, in one gladiatorial gulp.

Relatively few have air conditioning at home, so a night of sweating and insomnia awaited their return. The oscillating fans weakly blowing warm air, likened to an asthmatic octogenarian breathing on you, morning salvation was hours away.

Wasps and flies annual appearance began, desperately trying to take residence in your home, then finished just as abruptly. No doubt plaguing other poor souls with their monotonous hum.

Undoubtedly it will be torrential rain tomorrow with potential flooding, marking the start of winter.

Assumption!

Today 15th August, is the feast of Assumption, where all the local boats set sail near the harbour to be blessed by the local priest. 

The blessed man performs aspergillum, the act of flicking holy water at each boat. 

This soon deteriorated into 'Chase the priest' as he accelerated and weaved between the speeding and increasingly frenzied masses. 

Clearly some out there, needed far more blessing than others! More accustomed to 'assume the position' than salvation in Assumption me thinks!

I would surely have to carousel for hours around his boat, being sizzled by holy water until absolution was achieved. I think I'd still be marionetting his boat like a loon, this time next year. 

*he picks up his beer and reflects 'isn't assumption wrong? doesn't assume, make an ass out of u and me?'

Day 4 - East Wallhouses to Newcastle and beyond!

Last day and a big push!

( Apologies this is a day late, I was exhausted, emotional and eventually, very, very drunk )

Last day and time for a big push! Only 26 miles to go, the mind is willing but the body/feet/blisters aren't quite so able. However with the idea of the pub at the end, it will be!! Everyone in fact is plagued with blisters, aches and pains. One of the gang has blisters all over her feet, not just between the toes, literally all over. The feet look like road kill.

 The day was the flattest of all four, so thankfully as we meandered our way to Newcastle, it felt easier psychologically and physically. We walked through quiet affluent urban areas to some less salubrious, through to the frenetic city and unfortunately beyond. What an amazing city, overflowing with life, it promises a great night out.

The big night out involved wearing slippers or just socks and filling the bar in the hotel, till the wee small hours. Laughing and endless conversation, the feeling of accomplishment weighed heavy. All proving emotional for even the biggest and toughest amongst us. In poignant and heart warming disbelief that the journey had finally finished. I can only imagine what 'Bilbo Baggins' must have felt on his quest, but our feet looked the same at the end of mine.

A few comedy moments have got us through and kept us laughing. An eclectic mix of issues have tackled each of the team. Ablutions in cold showers, the most common for group, however not for 'The Windsors' as we'd booked B&Bs and had en suites.......we were nicknamed the 'The Windsors' as we didn't slum it at all. Coupled with the obligatory royal wave every time you said it. 

I just couldn't face the camping/tent and thankfully on night three, when one of the girls had a backy from a local on a quad bike driving through the camp, I realised I made the right choice. 

Two of the group had to unfortunately relieve themselves in the middle of nowhere, that's easy I hear you say, but not really when it's a no2 in fairly open ground. 

One of the group added a new word to their vocabulary, a word they certainly wished not to know, the word 'Shart'....used in context "Dear god, I just sharted". Oh how we laughed.

Arriving into Newcastle was an absolute tonic, walking along the Tyne until we arrived at the hotel, a quick beer stop and then onwards to Wallsend. A few of us also went on the extra six plus miles ( why, oh why did I say challenge accepted....idiot ! ) It was like walking on broken glass the whole way, thankfully three bottles of prosecco helped on our arrival, to make it a distant memory.

In reflection....

We’ve just completed our challenge, for Macmillan nurses, we walked Hadrian's wall, over 84 miles in four days, a few also the coast to coast…..I’ll do anything for a dare!

Macmillan nurses have touched the lives of most of us that took part in the walk, from my personal experience they were above and beyond the call of duty, for Colin and his recuperation from stage 4 cancer. They tirelessly support people affected by cancer, nearly six million people so far in the UK. With nearly sixteen million people accessing the services just last year.

We have raised nearly twenty five thousand pounds from fund raisers, collections, online blogging and social media. The team have been pulled out all the stops to boost as much as possible, our final tally. This is the last few weeks before the fund is finalised, so dig deep, for any extra pennies.

The walk was a resounding and great success, incredible challenging and impossibly tough, but we did it! I had the great pleasure to walk with this awesome team, sharing their company once more, it reminded me of the incredible spirit in our united selves. It was a privilege to walk amongst such a stoic, dedicated and august team, they will forever be in my heart for the hell that they endured and the spirit they displayed. Thank you to everyone of of you that has sponsored, shared, promoted and put up with our worthy cause, making it possible and a great success.

On another funny note, when one of the team, who is an ex Italian airforce, was asked " Are you all military ? " he replied in his strong Italian accent and manly voice " Nah, we trolly dolly ! "

Finally, this picture sums it all up for me. The endless mountains, hills and undulations ( If I hear that word again ! )

p.s. If I hear one more person say " I've done that walk ! "....did you, really, 84 miles in four days?




Here's the link again, please share and promote this great and worthy cause #macmillan

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Philwareing1&isTeam=truehttp://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-

Day 3 - Mohope, Hexham

We've arrived in Mohope with no hope....who am I kidding, I can smell the sea!!

Singing helps with the walking boredom "Doe a dear lord and make The sun stop !"
So this was our toughest day so far, in terms of aches, patience and thresholds pushed. Interestingly nobody was pushed off the wall, must be a good sign. I have consistently trained in rain and cold, so have four seasons in one day was a test. Sweating like a lunatic mother on 'Make my child a star' one minute, to cold and clammy 'like you're 15 trying to bluff your way into a night club' to damp outside and soaking wet under your breathable (LIARS!) waterproof - nice!.
Or all of the above, hot, wet and wild like a 'two dollar Ho' earning rent. Either which way, it ain't pretty.

Killing time, alleviating boredom. I'm running through my music library, this is far less grand in reality, as I'm searching for a song with 'Skiddledong' in the lyrics. That distracted me for over an hour, especially juggle walking poles, rucksack, iPod, undulating terrain and two left feet. Music back on and the next hour is killed thinking if I need the toilet.

I'm sure these were the very same issues that Marco Polo faced, the great explorer. I'm sure he was always worrying if the shop 8 miles away, will still be open to buy a packet of hobnobs and/or can I urinate here and not be seen. I kept thinking, can we just fast forward this part of the day, to 'two pints of beer' Simon sitting in a bar? If I was watching myself on a television programme right now, I so would be watching on x2 or x6 or better x30 speed.

I've walked today and have seen beyond guaragantuan fortitude to finish. Feet in tatters but will is still strong, nothing seems to stop this gaggle to the truly bitter end.......today I think it's the pub at the journey's end, however yesterday, when fresher, it's altruism....we all joked about the 20k we've raised (well I did ) that it could pay for the nurses to hit Ibiza, do 20litres of sambuca and get messed up on strippers and coke....however they do amazing work and I will not demean their contribution and the difference they absolutely made to us!
We however, look fooked up and a bit broken. If it wasn't for the 'rain man' approach of some, to mention the difference our money makes, I would have got an über!

This again reminds me of the spirit and strength,that keeps it real. My bit of hardship........ok I'm not sleeping in tent, but I'm there in spirit.

Here's the link again, please share and promote this great and worthy cause #macmillan

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Philwareing1&isTeam=true

Day 2 - Brampton. Worst pub crawl ever!

Daily I vacillate from waking and aching, like I’m a post centenarian after a post Jane Fonda workout ordeal, walking like a mime artist in slow motion. To then each evening smelling like a wet farm animal, (un)relishing the joy of polyester.
Today was that day. We walked and then we walked.......oh and the we walked some more. The hills weren't alive with the sound of music, but from Jax saying " You are fucking kidding me?!?!?!"....at the point we discovered we had another six or seven big hills (2000ft) before we finished. I appreciate that some of you have done more, but piss off, the shit got real today. If I read another idiot say "well it's not 4000+" I might come find them. This is a great group of mixed abilities and varying fitness levels, striving for something good. Holy shit though, if I found today hard, then truly believe me, it was tough.

Again the scenery is unbelievably, it is the UK at it's finest. Our Great Wall team is an ecletic mix of all nations, enjoying our new/established home. We've raised over 20k ( with gift aid ) got sore feet, ache in all the wrong places but boy, oh boy, have we laughed. We've talked, sang, mercilessly taken the piss out of each other....but massively pushed each other, with words of encouragement......or alcohol.
Today I did say "This does kill the joy of our mini Break!"....although a few other noteable quotes of the day "This is shite, I hate the fucking wall".....this was a purely based on too much exercise and not enough booze.
It is magnificent, you would love it......probably more so in a cab, but then you wouldn't see the tops of those mountains.

We splintered off into groups, as it was tough to organise a large group to walk, thankfully tomorrow...we're back!
I've enjoyed the whole experience, aching limbs, blistered feet ........but seriously, enough of those hills. This has rapidly become the worst pub crawl ever! I did think that they'd be dozens of shops etc but no, sheep, hills and sunshine......enough with the Rays. I look like a tomatoe's illegimate love child, in fact we've all burnt. The sweat washing away the sunscreen.

I'm signing off, it's 00:39 no wifi and up at 6am....best I sign off, as I'm a few beers, jack'n'cokes and fizz down. I'll add pictures tomorrow, when I find wifi/civilisation x

Here's the link again, please share and promote this great and worthy cause #macmillan

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Philwareing1&isTeam=true

Day 1 - Bowness-on-Solway

Morning all,
Firstly excuse the updates, type and spelling, this is being updated via my iphone and patchy phone signal and/or no wifi. From this morning onwards, here goes.....

So it all comes down to this. I’m ready, the team is set and thankfully it’s a go….fairly on time and schedule, I hasten to add. I’ve eaten my bodyweight in carbs, maintained my wavering ability to drink and exercise and changed outfits three times. The forecast and my slow response have meant I’ve changed clothes this morning, like I’m in theatre and it’s a set change. Hot, warm, cold, freezing, wet, dry. The only consistent thing will be my misery…..only joking, it’ll my aching feet.

The scenery is the tonic I needed, after endless months of walking and running around Windsor Great Park. I absolutely love the park but it’s getting a bit predicatable and this is the breath of fresh air I needed.

However, can I just add. Today was incredible tough with the heat and constant sunshine, there were a few sense of humour failures ( God it was me at one point ! ) Then the diversions and constant changes to path, that added so many extra miles and confusion. We had a man down or two.....and not in the nice way, plus so many other logistic issues. Our support team were amazing, thankfully always there to cater to every eventuality. Huge shout out to our organiser, leader and motivator Phil Wareing, we would have been lost without you. No seriously, we would have been lost in every sense. 

Thankfully tomorrow is an easy day (who am I kidding ) and after a express supper at the Greenhead hotel and hostel, it's an early night. This hotel is amazing and the wonderful proprietor Diane has been amazing. 

Ok it 23:23 and we're up early, good night folks x

Here's the link again, please share and promote this great and worthy cause #macmillan
http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Philwareing1&isTeam=true

Twas the night before……….

Holy moly, we’re off in the morning!!!!

Here’s some of the local scenery and your amazing team, all preparing like true Olympians for the gargantuan task ahead. I'm not sure what our B and B had in store for us when they said last night, they'd got an artist in for us.....slightly filled with intrepidation, as there would be only six of us eating in front of this performer, but I suppose, even Barbara Streisand must have started somewhere. 

Phoenix nights for everyone!

I was desperately hoping the beer would numb any embarrassment/fear I had and I hope the 'Artiste' wouldn't hold my gaze or was able to read my thoughts....." dear Lord don't let there be any audience participation involve/expected/encouraged ! "
This was all probably based on my adopted southern suspicion of anything gestured kindly. I know this misplaced wariness was swiftly eradicated and the 'Artiste' provided by our benevolent and kind B and B was wonderful. Vallum house, near Carlisle were charming and so hospitable, I would come back again. Artiste permitting. 

We all met up to discuss terrain, tactics and tents, or rather share a few beers and calm pre match nerves. The Kings arms provided that perfect meeting point for the variety of arrival times, food requirements and beers necessities. 
Another warm welcome and helpful proprietor later, this is panning out nicely ! 

I'd like to say it was an early night, probably best not to stretch the truth at all and just admit how rubbish I am at time keeping. 

Early to bed, early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy and wise.....healthy, maybe not feeling so healthy after the beers !










Here's the link again, please share and promote this great and worthy cause #macmillan

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Philwareing1&isTeam=true

Meet the team!

Meet the Team! 

Philip Wareing, Pieter Classens, Louise Holley, Les and Lynsay Redwood, Adrian Paul, Jacqueline Hole, Linda and Dean Williamson, Sian Tims, Adrian Letts, Darryl Classens, David Perry, Colin Millsop, Lynne Teare, Simone taglia, Clare Waters, Paul Beer, Robert Byford, Jaana Vaari, Lizanne Malone, Pieter Classens, Trudi Howard, Nikki Perischine, Simon and Jasna Anderson 

and ME!

Feeling like the night before Christmas, excitedly we drive to Carlisle tomorrow. The enthusiasm is palpable, the feeling can also be likened to ‘first day’ at a new school….excitement, giddy fear and thankfully surrounded by friends.

Phil has painstakingly planned and organised our event, drawing together the team to this moment....
*resists bursting into song, weighs heavy the task, thinks he needs a drink

Phil Wareing

No pressure! With patience aplenty and logistics juggled, Phil has singlehandedly drawn together a gang/band or rather gaggle/mob into zen like synergy. I can only imagine how this will look to the untrained eye, like an unruly angry octopus unable to find it's own arse with eight hands/tentacles and a mirror. Everyone no doubt, fannying around looking like they're doing their own thing, until snapped back to the task in hand/tentacle by Phil. Like a Marvel superhero team, an eclectic mix of characters, rogues, misfits, divas, miscreants and maniacs………..as in dipsomaniacs! At least we have that in common, oh and the walking. My superhero superpower is definitely drinking, if ever the world is in extraterrestrial danger, I'll take those alien invaders down with Jaeger shots. No challenge.

I think it's safe to say the weather forecast is fairly accurate for our trip, however it seems to change every few minutes, now four days of occasional rain, mixed with highs of 70's. Shake a dice, I don't think anyone knows, least of all the Met office. Pack a bikini, kagool, sledge, lilo, umbrella and sun block. Simples. 
Day three, I think will be the toughest day, not just in terms psychologically, emotionally and physically but also it’s crazy weather conditions. Oh how they laughed…..I’m sure there will be plenty of LOLs that day. Not!

I cannot wait to see everyone, some old friends and some new. That I know, will carry us through this whole experience. Also the incredible total of donations, that keeps rising and building our confidence. Sincerely thank you from us all.

Here's the link again, please share and promote this great and worthy cause #macmillan



http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Philwareing1&isTeam=true

Gin soaked you say.....

3th May

Tick, tock, tick, tock.....

With only a few days to go, all the preparation will shortly come to fruition. My final twenty mile walk, followed by five pints and two shots of tequila went very well. Afterwards was a bit of a blur and the next day, I was a bit tired/hungover/knackered/worn out/exhausted (delete as appropriate). I've now become the biggest light weight with drinking, after five pints I was reduced to the intelligence levels of one of those sign language chimpanzees, who could just about ask for a grape.....in my case it was tequila.

I've taken advice from everyone, some more than others. One in particular the other day whom I slightly misunderstood. When I said my feet hurt and they said “blah, blah, blah gin soaked…” I though it was some holistic remedy for achy feet. I promise to try and listen next time *he says keeping fingers crossed.

So with the immense generosity of donations, reciprocity will bolster us on. I'm incredibly humbled by the amount, I will not let you down.

On another plus, the weather forecast is improving, from perfect storm/build an Ark to overcast with occasional rain. I'm hoping that the thermos filled with alcoholic hot chocolate will be the remedy for tired feet, plus the pub will be the light at the end of the daily tunnel.

The support team will be on hand to drop essential supplies, like beer or non alcoholic beverages(does shandy count)......like mixers!

Bags all packed and ready, maps downloaded, route prepped and established, gear(not that kind) all ready and beside the slightly unsettling nervous feeling, the time is nigh. I will try and detox this week, pack in yoga(who am I kidding) and eat healthily. Rest up, carb up and drink up, I'm mean relax.....well maybe a few drinks, or two, but that's it.

Here's the link again, please share and promote this great and worthy cause #macmillan

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Philwareing1&isTeam=true

Countdown is finally over!

Two weeks and counting, the Hadrian’s Wall walk is ever looming closer. Like the proverbial elephant in the room, it’s nearly here and shits about to get really real. As I type, watching MTV videos, the ‘shits just got real’ in Michael Jackson’s song ‘Bad’. I don’t remember the eighties that well, but I’m sure the gang wars didn’t involve wind machines, balero jackets, high kicks, ripped marble wash jeans and roller skates…..maybe they did ?!

The coast to coast walk we are doing involves over a hundred miles, twenty seven friends, dozens of beers, and two potentially sore feet.

I’m looking forward to the laughs and beers, not so much the aches and pains…….oh and the rustle of polyester, especially if it rains….who am I kidding, it’s going to rain.

It’s all going to become a wonderful anecdote I hope, the blisters and aches will heal and we’ll find that we look back and laugh……he says with fingers crossed.

As an empirical thinker and drinking activist, I'm reassured the views are spectacular and the beers are more than promising. Four days of quotidian marathon distance will be a challenge, especially with the mammoth hangover I’m hoping to attain each day. I’ve lost my ninja drinking skills but will attempt to do my very best, oh I do love a challenge ! If you’ve not yet sponsored us, please think of your donation as a guarantee to bolster us onwards.

My commitment ? I will post dozens of pictures of our pain, hangovers and accomplishments each day. I will endeavour to make you laugh and cry….the pain and privilege will be pleasurably all mine, isn’t that worthy of even a small offering ? So dig that parsimonious hand deep into that pocket, because I’m worthless, I mean worth it.

Please sponsor us here :-

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Philwareing1&isTeam=true

Wet from Windsor writes........

Wet from Windsor writes........

Wednesday morning was spent through Windsor great park in the pouring rain!

What a difference a day makes, it was beautiful Thursday, however wednesday, I seriously thought about building an ark. 

15 miles of interval training, many of the intervals were running for cover when the heavens opened. 

Rocking the shit wet hair look and looking like I've been kicked backwards through a damp cotswold store. Bedraggled is an understatement.

Thankfully I've discovered that my waterproof coat, isn't fully waterproof....by breathable they obviously mean 'you'll get wet loser'.

Just Giving Page -Hadrian's wall walk!

#Shanghai walkabout

#Shanghai walkabout, countdown 24 days to Hadrian's Wall walk

Great few days walking around Shanghai, enjoying the sights and sounds but not so much the smells and jetlag. The underground wasn't as crazy and busy as I remembered but the air was the same. This crazy city is a great place to explore, sightsee and shop. Take the double decker bus (not the brown ones) or on foot, there's something to catch the eye every few steps.

Well, with 24 days to go, I've got all the gear and still no idea. I look a bit like a dollar store olympian, a discount version of an athlete. Still not looking good wet and still not enjoying the wet dog smell when it rains......even when I'm not walking with the dog. 

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Philwareing1&isTeam=true

Simon 2.0 is ready and fitter for the challenge, although the new improved version of myself has lost his ninja drinking skills. Also I've recently discovered that Guinness after only a few pints, gets me pissed quickly and totally disagrees with my ablution and bathroom habits the following day. I think I need to reevaluate the drinking menu for the walk, or it could become a run between stops.

I've never felt the siren call of polyester, but find everyday whether I work, rest or play, I'm in it. Top to toe. You'll hear me before I arrive. The continuous rustle of my walking trousers has no rhythmic soul, it's just bloody annoying, accompanying every frigging movement I make. That's a challenge in itself.

Ohhhh, I do love a challenge and I'm pretty sure I'll do most things for a dare......ok I'll do anything for beads at Mardi Gras, so I guess I'll do everything for a dare......well this challenge/dare is nearly here. 

We're off for a training walk today, a mere 20 miles, punctuated by cups of tea and finished with beer. As a professional athlete, I know how important it is to hydrate. 

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Philwareing1&isTeam=true

#Soloman I'm done!

#Soloman I’m done. My new, expensive, cutting edge boots have spent the last 100 miles trying to kill me. I came close to taking them off on the walk home and hurling them across the Long Walk in Windsor. My feet have been beaten, blistered and squeezed into oblivion, looking now like something reminiscent of an illegal genetic experiment, or an extra/prop from ‘Lord of the Rings’ or ‘The Fly'.  

Switching to non homicidal footwear now accomplished and pushing out the miles again. Training most days and trying to maintain 10/15 miles even with hangovers. I’ve counted my rest days to be slow walks, regular days pacing as fast as I can. From this month we start the training with walking poles, pushing the miles up to 20 at least once a week.

I’ve now got great waterproof walking shoes, they fit like gloves and comfortable beyond. #vibram isodry, I love, love, love them. Not in an unnatural way, as in, we go off on long sunny walks….oh shit we do.

Just enjoyed a great walk around Pen y Fan in Wales, beautiful scenery and snow on the hill tops. Unfortunately nearly being blown off, trying to reach a certain part the mountain, brought a whole new meaning to the expression. Thankfully it’s an analogy not a euphemism. It was gale force winds of only 32mph but boy did they feel stronger, at one point I couldn’t stand up. Laughing and crouching, it was great fun for a near death experience, said no one ever.

 I can’t recommend the scenery more, absolutely breathtaking, take the steeper ascent and enjoy the easier gradually descent, tough on your knees but well worth the effort.

 There’s endless walks and endless vistas to keep you amused, plenty of places to stop, unfortunately selling hot/cold drinks/snacks and not so much alcohol (insert unsmiley emoji here to add to the dramatic gravitas to the suffering I endured)

Thankfully we found a great pub not too far away, as a conscientious athlete I rehydrated with Guinness. There is a god !