Winter is coming......
In the usual UK fashion, the too few days of sunshine and inevitable national hosepipe bans, heralded Summer to come and go all too quickly. Middle aged, hairy, overweight men everywhere went topless, sales of last years dusty leftover ice creams went through the roof and everyone immediately sun bathed until sweaty, bright red and thoroughly burnt.
People immediately complained that it was too hot or how unbearable it all was, also how unfair to be working on that day and then immediately make comparisons to last years one day heat wave.
We all rushed to any grassy area, stripped off, rolled up, unbuttoned and uncomfortably endured the briefest moments of sunshine, worshipping the yellow elusive God in the sky.
White socks and sandals saw the light of day, too much skin unveiled and poor choices of outfits ruled the streets. Pale and white flesh prevalent everywhere "we've not seen that white meat since Christmas" I repeatedly say out loud.
Herds amassed, headed to the seaside and enjoy hours of traffic jams on their pilgrimage, surviving at least one severe ice cream headache forcing down a '99' before it melts, in one gladiatorial gulp.
Relatively few have air conditioning at home, so a night of sweating and insomnia awaited their return. The oscillating fans weakly blowing warm air, likened to an asthmatic octogenarian breathing on you, morning salvation was hours away.
Wasps and flies annual appearance began, desperately trying to take residence in your home, then finished just as abruptly. No doubt plaguing other poor souls with their monotonous hum.
Undoubtedly it will be torrential rain tomorrow with potential flooding, marking the start of winter.
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